


Reaffirmation

by LaMonica



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Romance, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-21
Updated: 2003-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:31:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaMonica/pseuds/LaMonica
Summary: A previous confession has made things more difficult. Now What?  A sequel toReconciliation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin awoke to his alarm clock's piercing shrill in his ear. The shock of the noise caused him to bolt upright in his bed. 

"Fuck" he said at the thought of another day at work and at school. Since the attack, getting up had been a lot harder than before. His sleep was deeper than ever. His mom always said that he slept like the dead. He at one time in his life didn't even like to sleep. Now it seemed as if he couldn't get enough of it. With all his classes at P.I.F.A., working at the diner, homework, and spending his time partying with Brian and the boys, sleep was a rare commodity that he had learned to appreciate. 

Pulling sex filled all-nighters with Brian wasn't helping him either. The night before last, he and Brian made it back to the loft at exactly 11:36 p.m. He knew that they would have a little fun. What he hadn't expected was how excited and hyped up Brian was. Brian's kisses and caresses had gotten to him very easily. He was always into anything that Brian did to him. Before they knew it, it was 3:49 a.m. When they looked at the clock by the bed. And they both had to be up at 6:30 a.m. He had barely made it through his first class before his head had started to bob around. 

Getting out of bed to shower, Justin busied himself with his daily ritual of getting ready. He also had to think of a way to talk to Brian about his need for a project in his Commercial design class. He figured if anyone could help him on this project, it would be the "King Of all Advertising", as Justin had so affectionately loved to call him. Things had certainly changed in the last couple of weeks. Only Justin didn't know if it was better or worse than before. 

Justin had been completely ready to let go of the idea of a relationship with Brian. All the mixed messages had finally got to him. Watching Brian blow him off at Woody's to pick up a trick was the last straw. They stopped seeing each other for two months. He thought that he and Brian were finally done with each other. Then Brian showed up at his school. When Justin said his peace to Brian and left him standing alone on the curb, Brian showed up at Deb's. 

As the hot water beat down in a pulsing spray on his back, Justin thought about that moment. How adamant that Brian was seeing him. He knew Brian's ego couldn't take being blown off. He knew that eventually they would have it out with each other. What he hadn't expected, and what caught him completely off guard was Brian's confession of love. The situation was very intense and emotional. Not to mention extremely sexually charged. There were so many feelings coursing through both of them at the same time. Anger and love. Hurt and lust. But most of all confusion. All overwhelming them both. 

What had happened in between that time? Brian had said what Justin had always wanted to hear him say. Now he was regarded as Brian's. And what was even more amazing, was that Brian was regarded as "HIS". It wasn't an established exclusive monogamous relationship. But Brian had finally acknowledged that Justin meant something to him. Even though Brian had professed his love that day, he had not said the same since. He showed what he felt with the way he treated him now. He was very attentive emotionally and physically. And always sexually. But Justin couldn't shake the feeling that Brian had felt that that moment was a mistake. A moment of weakness. He knew how hard it was for Brian to open up emotionally. The word "love" never really being in his vocabulary for no one other than Michael and Gus. 

"Why is loving me so hard Brian"? Justin thought. He washed his hair as the water started to get lukewarm. He turned of the shower and proceeded to dry himself. Too many thoughts of Brian were swirling through his head at that moment. It was too early in the morning to deal with. 

Justin wanted love from Brian. He knew Brian loved him. But Justin wanted true unabashed, dizzying love. he wanted to enjoy the feelings that it sent coursing through his veins. He wanted Brian to smile when he saw him. To be swooped up into his arms and for him to say things like, "I missed you" and "How are you". He loved the things that showed true affection and concern. He knew Brian was right about one thing. He was a "Drama Princess". 

But with Brian, when he showed up, it felt like something else. Brian felt defeated by him. By love. Brian felt like the walls started to close in around him as he said "I Love You" to Justin in Michael's old room. Brian had given in to love. Justin knew that Brian hated to give in to anything. Even his own feelings. 

All of these thoughts about Brian's reaction was giving Justin second thoughts about going over to the loft after work today. He wanted so much to be with Brian. Maybe that was his problem. He was always the one feeling desperate. Always the one wanting Brian's affection, his love, his attention and his body. He was always available to Brian, whenever Brian wanted him. When was Brian going to reciprocate the same? 

He made a decision as he got ready for his classes. 

 

****************************************** 

 

Brian sat at his desk going over the new "Old Pitt" beer add. he also had to fine tune an idea for Ryder on the "Majestic Hotel Resorts" ad. He was so tired of cleaning up the messes that those two idiots Bob and Brad were making of everything. All he wanted was to get out of the office and go back to the loft and be with Justin. 

"Justin" he thought silently to himself. Just the thought of his sexy boy relaxed him. He had a whole evening planned for the two of them. It was ironic. Brian Kinney, who didn't believe in love, relationships, or boyfriends, planning an evening for two. Who would have thought? He certainly never pictured himself in any kind of relationship. Especially not with an eighteen year old twink. Aa mere kid. But Justin has so much more to him. He hated admitting that to himself. But he knew it when he met him outside of Babylon that night. For the first time in his life, he saw something that he thought was perfect. 

"Brian pick up line 3" Cynthia's voice came through the intercom, bringing him out of his trance. 

"Yeah" he said picking up the receiver. 

"Hey" 

Just hearing Justin's voice made his heart flutter. He hated it when that happened. How could one person effect him in such a way? Of all the men that he has had, in several different ways, this was the only one who gave him butterflies. And he never wanted anyone to know that. 

"Hey yourself" Brian responded in his usual non-chalant tone. 

"I'm not going to be able to make it tonight" Justin said to him. 

At that moment, Brian could feel his stomach drop. The one thing he was looking forward to wasn't going to happen. He almost questioned Justin about it. He wanted to ask him why. He wanted to know when they would get together. But that would sound too desperate. Brian Kinney was never desperate. Except for maybe one other time. 

"I have a lot of reading to do and assignments to complete. I figured just as well, that you were probably going to go out with the guys anyway". 

That one hurt. Justin was trying to give him space and trying not to crowd him. Everyone knew Brian Kinney never liked anyone crowding his space. But tonight of all night's. He really wanted to be with Justin tonight. Why was Justin doing this now? 

"Yeah, fine" he said to the boy, in his most "I don't give a shit" tone he could give. 

"Bye" Justin said. And he just hung-up. 

"No 'I Love You'?", Brian thought as the line went dead. Justin always said that to Brian when ending a phone call. Even though he knew that Brian would never respond with the same. It was sort of unspoken with them, that those words weren't required from Brian. Justin knew the revelation of feelings for Brian was a very difficult thing, that he didn't push it with Brian. After the extremely intense situation at Deb's, he felt that Justin knew how he felt about him. 

But as the line went dead, Brian started to wonder. How did Justin now feel about him? 

 

****************************************** 

 

"Asshole" Justin thought as he clicked off his cell phone. 

Brian could care less if he were around. He had just given him the "I don't give a shit" tone about his failing to make it to the loft tonight. He was probably looking forward to picking up some hot piece of strange at Babylon or Woody's. Not that Justin cared about that. He knew Brian would always love to hunt new prey. But after their heated confrontation at Deb's, he thought that Brian would at least become more open to him, maybe even more affectionate. But Brian seemed more closed off to him than ever. 

"Be careful what you wish for" Justin thought to himself. All he ever wanted was for Brian to tell him that he loved him. Now that Brian had, he was more closed off and distant. Justin was now longing for all those subtle inclinations of affection that Brian used to give him, when he was too scared to even admit that he cared for him. The way Brian would get a small smirk on his face when he was trying to blow him off. he always knew that it meant that Brian was holding something back. And Justin always too those subtle looks and dreamed that it was the urge to grab him and say "I Love You. You mean the world to me". But that wasn't Brian Kinney. Brian would never admit to loving anyone in that way. 

Now the real fear was sinking into Brian. Justin knew that Brian's tone was one of confusion. but what was so confusing about it? Brian had said that he loved him. What's so scary about that? 

"I'm so sick of this" Justin said as he got out of his car. His back pack even more of a burden, since he was upset. His thoughts about Brian were clouding his brain. He wanted very much to go over to the loft. To see Brian. To kiss him, to make love to him. But a confession of love had only put up more emotional roadblocks. Those roadblocks to Brian's heart was making every encounter more frustrating. Brian's fears and insecurities were making him even more impossible to deal with. And Justin just didn't feel like it tonight. 

Walking through the hallway of PIFA, Justin heard a familiar voice call his name. 

"Yo Justin"! 

Justin knew who it was. But his tone spoke of surprise to the boy who was rushing up to him. 

"Hey Eric. What's up?" Justin said trying to block out all of his images of Brian for the moment. 

"I was wondering did you ever pick what you were going to work on for your Commercial Design project? Tou know, the advertisement for a new type of cleaning product." 

"Oh shit" he said. Remembering why it was important to go to Brian's tonight. He needed help with an idea for the project that Eric had bought back to the forefront of his mind. 

"I guess not" Eric said flashing a small smirk on his face. 

"No. I just have to get some advice from someone on it. But I don't know when I'll get a chance to now" Justin said adjusting the backpack strap on his shoulders. 

"Well, maybe I can help" Eric said as he looked directly into Justin's eyes. 

Justin noticed the way Eric was looking at him. His deep emerald green eyes were cutting through every nerve ending in his body. Justin was immediately liking the idea of spending some time alone with Eric. Maybe a true break was what he and Brian both needed. A true, but temporary break. Maybe if he lived a little more for himself and for the thrill of the hunt, he would understand Brian and himself a little more. 

 

****************************************** 

 

"So, where's Boy Wonder"? Michael asked Brian then taking a swig of his beer. 

Brian looked blankly at the beer in his hand and answered . 

"He said he had a lot of assignments to work on". 

"Have you seen him at all" Michael asked leaning against the bar. 

"I haven't seen him in almost a week. He cancelled on me the other day and hasn't gotten back with me" Brian said with the famous blank expression he regards almost everything that would normally, for anyone else, would require some sort of facial expression. 

Michael could tell that Brian was always different when Justin wasn't around. Sure Brian always scoped the place out, for some potential piece of action, even when Justin was there. The two men had an understanding. Brian seemed to enjoy the company of the guys a little less enthusiastically when Justin wasn't around. He seemed to laugh a and smile a lot more when Justin was around. He definitely danced a lot more. Especially with Justin. 

"Well that's cool. You wouldn't want him to be a starving artist for the rest of his life. Going to school is gonna take up a lot of his time." Michael said to him 

"I know that Mikey." He said with an annoyed look on his face. 

Michael knew he was treading very treacherous waters with Brian. Brian never discussed Justin with anyone, not even him. He didn't understand that, since they were suppose to be best friends. Michael always told him what was going on with himself and David. He thought that as friends they could tell each other anything. 

Brian hadn't talked to Justin in two days. And the effects were starting to show to everyone. No one failed to notice the he wasn't quite there when someone was talking to him. His mind was obviously elsewhere. 

Ryder put him on the spot in a meeting. He was so pissed that he got caught daydreaming. Not that he wasn't aware of the topic of conversation. He was actually in charge of it, and had it all worked out. He let Ryder know that there was no real reason for the meeting and that his presence there was actually taking him away from his next project. But Ryder insisted that he come. Brian felt like he was being Micro-Managed to death. His mine started to wonder onto thoughts of Justin. He could see his beautiful body, lying on the dark blue sheets. His beautiful red lips. Swollen and hot. It was that image that probably did it, since he inadvertently started to lick his lips. Just then Ryder snapped at him. 

"Brian would you get your head out of the fucking clouds and pay attention" he said in a huff. 

That made Brian even more pissed. Not that Ryder had actually been a jerk to him, that was not new. What bothered him more, was that he had missed Justin, and Justin had not bothered to notice. Justin always assumed that Brian was out at Babylon or Woody's picking up tricks. Of course he did sometimes. But the trick had to be better than hot to even get his attention now. He was starting to enjoy all the time he and Justin spent together. He knew Justin would be busy with school, but he felt like the past week Justin was trying to keep his distance. And he didn't know why. 

"Come on lets dance" Michael said putting the empty bottle on the bar. 

"Yeah sure, why not" he put his own half empty bottle on the bar. 

They moved into the sea of hot pulsing bodies. The bass thumping, the bodies sweating all made foe a very distracting diversion. Brian let it take him out of his thoughts of Justin. He and Mikey hadn't danced in a while. He used to love dancing with Mikey. It was so much fun. He hadn't realized it before, but he hadn't done it in a long time. Why hadn't he danced with Mikey? But he knew why. It was Justin. He loved dancing with Justin even more. He loved the feel of Justin's body moving against him. The heat that he felt. The kisses that he couldn't get enough of. 

Just then he felt Michael's hands on his waist as they started to move to the beat of a faster song. Babylon was on fire tonight. The D.J. was on fire, playing just the right mix of music to keep the crowd going, and the crowd was pumped tonight. 

"Damn It" he thought. He wasn't going to think of Justin right now. He would dance the night away with his best friend. And he'd probably pick up the hot dark chocolate brown hottie who was giving him the eye from across the floor. Definitely had to have a piece of that. 

"Hey isn't that Justin over there?" he heard Michael say as he motioned Brian to look over his shoulder. 

Brian turned around and saw them. Justin had no shirt on, as usual, dancing up a storm. His body was covered in sweat. All the guys in Babylon had their eyes trained on him. That was nothing new either. Brian was use to every one in the club checking out the hottest twink in Pittsburgh. 

What Brian didn't like was the guy dancing with Justin. He was about the same age as Justin. Cute too. It wasn't that Justin didn't dance with other guys. But something about this guy bothered Brian. The way he held Justin close to him, with his hands on Justin's hips. The comfort in the closeness that was obvious on Justin's face. Then there was the kiss that he gave Justin. It wasn't deep and passionate, not even overtly sexual. It was very light and fun. 

All of a sudden, it dawned on Brian. It was the same kid he saw running up after Justin on that day they finally had it out at Deb's. The kid who Justin gave one of his "Sunshine" smiles to. 

Before he knew it he left Michael standing by himself, and went to see what the fuck this was all about. 

Michael knew that what was about to happen wasn't going to be pleasant, but he thought maybe he should follow Brian, just in case things got out of hand.


	2. Chapter 2

Eric loved dancing with Justin. His body was just the way he liked, slim and perfect in all the right places. And that ass made him all the more desirable. But it was Justin's smile that did it for Eric. The lady in the diner called him "Sunshine", and it wasn't hard to see why. His smile was just too captivating. Eric had always liked what he saw when he looked at Justin, and working with him only made him like him more. At first he'd only noticed his physical assets, but after working with him on their class project, he had a whole new respect for him. There was so much to him.

Michael watched as Brian worked his way through the crowd. He knew that Brian was sore about not seeing Justin for the past week and would probably cause a bit of a scene. Even through his "I'm Brian Kinney, and I don't give a shit" facade, Michael saw the change in Brian's attitude as he watched Justin dancing with the other guy. Brian went from content, dancing with him and having a good time, to angry and jealous in a second flat. Then it dawned on Michael that maybe he shouldn't have said anything. But it was too late now. Now he had to try to keep the situation from getting out of hand.

His heart pounding faster than ever, Brian worked his way through the crowd. He didn't know why he was so worked up, but he was extremely pissed that Justin would even consider coming to Babylon without a word to him. They hadn't seen each other in a week, and Brian had hoped Justin was just trying to give him space. Justin was always trying to accommodate his need for freedom, but he hadn't once asked if he could come to the loft and see him. He knew that Justin's time would be a bit more limited, because of school and working at the diner, but while he didn't think that Justin would purposely "NOT" make time for him, he was apparently doing just that.

As he approached Justin, Brian could feel the anger in his stomach rise. Justin didn't notice him since his back was turned, but he didn't even seem to be seeking him out like he usually did. But what made Brian's anger boil to white hot was the kid he was dancing with. The way he looked at Justin made him breathe a little harder. The kid wanted Justin. Brian had first seen it the day he went down to P.I.F.A. to talk to Justin, and he could see it even more now. All Brian saw were two things: the young man's eyes on Justin, and his hands on Justin's hips. Brian finally reached Justin and lightly tapped his bare and sweaty shoulder. Feeling the touch, Justin was caught a bit off guard. He turned to find Brian standing right behind him.

"Hey," he said, giving Brian a small smile. Though he really wanted to jump into his arms right there on the dance floor, he was determined that this time Brian make the first move. He wanted Brian to want him enough to ask for him and he was not giving in at this point. It had been only a week, yet it felt like a year to Justin. He knew that if things kept going the way they had been, he would be pursuing Brian for the rest of his life. And why should he have to do that? Especially when there were so many gorgeous men pursuing him, including the one he was dancing with.

With an exaggerated shake of his head, Brian replied, "Hey."

"What's up?" Justin asked nonchalantly. He had learned from the master how not to show his feelings. Even when he was screaming on the inside for Brian to take him home and fuck him 'til he begged him to stop.

"You tell me." Brian said as he glared at Eric, who stood there with a large grin on his face.

Motioning to each of them, Justin made introductions. "Oh Brian, this is Eric. Eric, Brian." Eric gave Brian a nod and a grin. And Brian hated him more just at that moment. "Eric and I are celebrating. We just got the grade on our project together, and we "PASSED!" Justin said as he threw his arms up. His smile was bright and wide. But his stomach was falling because Brian hadn't even attempted to give him a congratulatory hug. Just then, he saw Michael come up next to Brian. "Hey Michael." he said as he turned to continue dancing with Eric.

Brian was getting more and more annoyed by Justin's blatant disregard. He finally grabbed Justin by the wrist and pulled him in the opposite direction, sneering "Excuse us" at Eric.

"What are you doing?" Justin said, stumbling as he tried to catch his balance

Brian proceeded to drag Justin to the other side of the club. He wanted this conversation out of the hearing range of Michael and Justin's little friend. He finally found a small corner where they could talk.

"I don't appreciate being lied to." Brian said as he looked at Justin angrily.

"Lied to you? What the fuck did I lie to you about Brian?" Justin said, growing more pissed at every passing second.

"You told me that you were working on a school project." Brian said, almost yelling at him.

"I was working on it, and at the diner. Or have you forgotten?" Justin yelled right back.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I called you as soon as I finished. Remember? I called you at work. You hardly said a goddamned thing to me when I was on the phone" Justin was almost in tears.

"Fuck" Brian thought. He remembered Justin calling him. He hadn't said a word, because he was waiting for Justin to ask one of the many famous questions that he had so looked forward to . "Can I come over tonight?", "What are you doing tonight?", or his favorite "Wanna play?". But Justin never said any of those to him. He just said "I'll talk to you later", and hung up. Brian didn't let anyone on to the fact that he was crushed.

"Just like I thought. You didn't hear a fucking thing I said to you" Justin turned to leave.

Brian grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back. "If you finished your project two days ago, why are you celebrating now?"

"Duh, we got graded today."

There was no getting around it. Brian had to say what was on his mind. "So you found time to celebrate with your new friend. Why haven't you wanted to come over?" he asked with a lump in his throat.

"I was being nice. I was giving you your famous 'space'. You don't listen to me anyway, so why should I beg to be with someone who obviously doesn't want me around?"

"I never said that Justin."

"Yeah, and you never ask me to come over, either. I always have to ask you. I'm always begging for your time, tiptoeing around you, your feelings, and your need to be free. I always consider what you want first Brian. Did you ever stop once to consider that I'd like to feel wanted by you? Well I'm sick of it. I won't keep chasing you. If you want me there, with you, you have to show me. But I know that will never happen will it? Cause Brian Kinney doesn't do feelings or desperation. Right?" Justin spat as he turned to leave.

But Justin was wrong. He was feeling desperate. He was desperate for Justin's touch, his kisses, and most of all, his smile. But he couldn't bring himself to tell Justin that. He was so used to the way things were. Why should they have to change now? But it was obvious to Brian what had changed when he saw Justin walk right up to Eric, and saw Eric throw his arm around Justin.

"FUCK!" Brian spat.

 

=========================

 

"Are you okay Justin?' Eric asked as he put his arm around the visibly upset young man.

"Yeah, let's just get outta here." Justin put his arm around his friend's waist and let himself be guided out of the club. Eric was clinging to him, practically holding him up. Justin realized that his legs were shaking, though he didn't know why. He'd found out that while Brian enjoyed being pursued, he didn't seem to want him the way he had before the bashing. Justin began to wonder if any one would ever want him with the same amount of passion that he wanted Brian.

"I'll take you home, okay?" Eric volunteered.

Tearily, Justin replied "No. I don't want to go home right now"

Eric removed his arm from Justin's shoulder and put his hands in his pockets. He walked next to him and just waited for Justin to say something...anything at all. He wanted so much to hold him, to kiss him, most of all to comfort him. But he knew this wasn't the time. Justin was still upset about what had happened and Eric didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage of his vulnerability.

"Wanna talk about it?" Eric mumbled as he walked beside Justin.

"I'm sorry Eric. This day started off so good, and I had to go and ruin it"

When Eric stopped in his tracks, Justin thought that he'd said something to upset him. He was unable to read Eric's expression.

"You didn't ruin anything. I was having a very good time with you. Just being with you was great. I'm sorry that guy upset you. I mean I know he's your boyfriend and I have no right to be saying this. But just one look at him tells me that you could do so much better." Eric fought the urge to touch Justin's face and kiss him.

"He's not my boyfriend. I don't know what he is anymore." Justin said as tears welled in his eyes. Nodding in the direction of his car, Eric suggested, "Come on. Let's go to the car. You can stay at my place tonight, that is, if you still don't want to go home."

"Maybe I should just go home. I don't want to be any trouble."

Eric attempted to lighten the mood. "No trouble at all. Hell, you've practically been staying at my place working on our project. You just didn't sleep there. One more night can't hurt."

"Are you sure?"

"Hey we haven't finished celebrating our success" Eric said as he pulled an easily-led Justin towards his car. Justin could only smile. Eric was always very nice to him, and he was a great kisser. He loved what they did on the dance floor at Babylon. Eric made him feel very open and free. He didn't have any baggage. What you saw was what you got. Even though they shared kisses on the dance floor, it was also the first time they had shared any form of physical contact.

But Brian had not missed any of the physical contact between the two young men. He'd followed both of them out of the club, wanting to go to Justin and tell him to come by the loft. To tell him that he wanted to see him. He also wanted to beat the shit out of Eric. It was very obvious that the kid would make a serious move on Justin. But Brian couldn't move. His feet seemed to be a part of the cement. His mind and heart were telling him "Go to Justin. Go get him, and take him home. Tell him you want him madly", but his body wouldn't cooperate. He just stood there, expressionless, confused, angry, and lost. He turned towards the Jeep, and left Babylon, alone. It wasn't the first time, but he realized it was the first time in a long time that Justin wouldn't be waiting for him at home.

 

=========================

 

For the last hour of the evening Justin didn't think of Brian at all. Instead, he sat with Eric and talked about school, drank beer, and watched TV. It was nice being in the room with Eric. There was no tension, and Justin felt very comfortable whenever they were together. Eric was always kind and considerate, and he listened. He was always interested in what was going on with him. Justin knew Eric's interest was more than casual, but Eric never approached him. He left it up to Justin to make the first move. Eric knew that Justin was involved with someone, but he never asked about him, and Justin never discussed him. Maybe it was time to change that. Justin needed someone to talk to. He needed Daphne, but she wasn't always available now. Justin felt as if he needed another gay friend closer to his own age. Eric was very sweet and attentive and Justin felt like he could open up to him.

Eric noticed the slight change in Justin's mood. They had managed to maintain a joyful mood for the last hour. Then, with a swiftness he couldn't comprehend, Eric felt the heightened tension in the room. Justin seemed to grow less talkative, more introspective. While he could tell that Justin wanted to say something to him, Eric didn't want to press him. But he wouldn't have to - Justin broke the brief quiet spell.

"I'm sorry you saw that. I mean...Brian and his whole attitude." Justin stared intently at the label on his beer bottle. He wasn't really interested in the coat of arms or the lack of originality in its design, but he had to avoid the look he thought he'd see in Eric's eyes.

"Don't apologize. I understand." Eric responded, mimicking Justin's avoidance technique by staring at the label on his bottle of beer. He couldn't look at Justin, couldn't let Justin see the want and lust in his eyes.

Rising from the bed, Justin said "I'm a little tired. Do you mind if I sleep here tonight? I can sleep on the couch."

With a grin, Eric responded "Sure you can stay. But I have to warn you. That couch is hard and lumpy as all hell."

"That's okay. I'll manage."

Eric walked past him and retrieved a blanket from the linen closet. His hand brushed Justin's as he handed him the blanket. The brief contact completely jolted Eric, and he felt his neck and face grew hot. Justin felt the change in Eric's mood as well as his own. The physical contact was too hard to ignore, but somehow they did. Eric simply turned away and started undressing by removing his shirt. Staring at his beautiful wide muscular back, Justin could practically taste Eric's flesh on his tongue. Justin almost forgot where he was until the sound of Eric's voice brought him back to the present.

"Goodnight"

Justin, realizing that he had been caught staring, responded with a blushing smile. "Goodnight" he said as he returned to the living room. After spreading one of the blankets over the couch, he undressed down to his black boxer briefs. He lay down and covered himself with the remaining blanket, hoping that he would slip into an easy sleep.

He didn't of course. It would have been too easy to just fall asleep after a day like this. He had too many thoughts of Brian. The accusatory look on his face when he saw Eric. The fact that he had the audacity to be mad at him for not asking if he could come over. The way that he seemed to take Justin' s continued pursuit for granted. It would have been so easy to just go to Brian. Why had he felt the need for Brian to acknowledge him? To pursue him? Why couldn't the man he cared so deeply for express the things that seemed to come naturally to him? He worked so hard to get into Brian's life, but now he felt that that was the easiest part. Now he was expected to dig into Brian's soul. And for the first time ever, Justin didn't think he was up to it.

There were plenty of guys who were interested in him, both sexually and non-sexually. "Fuck" he thought. Thinking of Brian was driving him to distraction. He was so physically and emotionally tired, he couldn't sleep. And the hard, lumpy couch wasn't helping at all. He decided that he just might have to take Eric up on his unspoken offer.

Eric lay in bed, almost asleep. He had extremely arousing thoughts about the young man sleeping in the living room of his apartment. He wished that Justin hadn't come back to stay with him. He wanted to take him home for the evening. To be in such a close proximity to something so beautiful was sure to drive him to some sort of mental breakdown. He saw the way Justin looked at him. There was such arousal in his eyes that for a brief moment, Eric had been dazed by it. It would have been so easy to take him and ravish him with kisses and caresses at that moment. But he knew that he wanted all of Justin, not just his body. He wanted everything. And he knew that Justin's current state, with his dealings and situations with Brian, would not make for an ideal start to a relationship.

Just as he started to doze off he felt a presence next to his bed. He opened his eyes and saw Justin. Standing over him, with his pale skin glowing in the light filtering through the window, Justin seemed like a beautiful spectre. He was like a banshee, foretelling him of a certain doom to come, but too beautiful to ignore. Eric's eyes devoured Justin's body. Seeing him standing there only wearing a pair of black boxer briefs was the least of it. What caught Eric completely off guard was the gold nipple ring. Just when he thought that he was dreaming, Justin spoke in a low, pleading voice: "You were right about that couch. Do you mind?"

"No. Hop in." Eric raised the covers and slid to the other side of the bed.

Justin eased into bed and adjusted the covers over himself. He was more aware of Eric than ever before. He could feel the heat rising off the other man's body, and when he turned to look he saw his beautiful deep emerald eyes. Justin was completely at a loss; he didn't know what to say, but he had to break the tension. But Eric spoke first. With a small smile, he said "Goodnight" as he rolled over, turning his back to Justin.

Justin was left with a full, up-close view of the beautiful expanse of his shoulders. The tight muscles that played with his senses as he breathed in the scent that was Eric. At that very moment, Justin realized something about Eric - He was magnificent. His body, his face, those piercing green eyes; but most of all, his beauty as a person. He was kind and considerate. He always gave Justin the impression that he was interested, but would never overstep any of his boundaries. Justin wondered if he ever would. It was with that thought that the sandman finally claimed him.

Eric lay there listening to Justin's low, steady, rhythmic breathing. And he thought it was a beautiful sound. He felt the heat of the young man next to him, but he didn't dare turn to look at him for fear of what he might do. If he turned to look at Justin, he would be compelled to kiss him, to touch him inside and out. He knew that it was best for both of them if he did not look at the beautiful blond beside him. His journey to the land of sleep amidst the soft down pillows was hard fought.

 

=========================

 

Brian went straight to Deb's after leaving Babylon. He wanted to see Justin. No, he needed to see Justin. He would just go there and wait for him. Deb wouldn't mind, but she'd definitely have something to say since they weren't together. He pulled up in front of the Novotny house and parked in his usual spot.

As he approached the house, Brian knew he wasn't ready for anything that awaited him inside. Using his key, he unlocked the door and walked in to see Vic sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hi Vic. What are you doing up so late?" he said as he walked over to sit next to him on the couch.

"Watching a Batman and Robin marathon. I always thought it rather kinky You know, an older man and a younger man running around in masks and tights" he said, sipping on his glass of grape juice.

Brian grinned at this. He always loved the spin that Vic put on things. He could find the kinky, homoerotic side to anything.

"He's not here" Vic said without even looking at him.

"I know. How'd ya guess?"

"Well you're not here to see me and Deb's still at the diner." Vic responded with a smirk.

Brian looked at the clock on the wall. 1:56 AM. It wasn't unusual for Justin to be out late on a Friday night; Hell, it wasn't even strange for him to be gone from the Novotny house all weekend. But he was usually working at the diner or they were together at the loft. Brian figured that Justin would be home at least by 2:30 AM.

"I'll just wait for him." Brian made himself comfortable on the couch. Vic glanced over at him and decided that he would go up to his bedroom. He didn't want to be in the living room when Justin walked in. He knew that there would be a fight. The fact that Brian was willing to sit and wait for Justin spoke volumes and he knew that this was very hard for Brian. Brian had avoided his feelings for so long, and now that Justin was in the picture, Vic knew that Brian's world had been upended. He didn't like to watch his boys, since they were his "sons" in a sense, go through the pain and drama that life was sending their way. But he also knew enough to step back and let them work it out amongst themselves. As he rose from the sofa, he ruffled Brian's hair. The affectionate gesture was always something that was between the two of them and he did it whenever Brian was upset. He did it to let Brian know that he was loved in the Novotny- Grassi household, that he would always find the love that he never knew in his own parents' home. The many times Brian came to the house in the middle of the night with bruises from another one of his father's drinking binges, Vic would always be there to ruffle his hair. Hugging Brian was out of the question - as many times as Vic had wanted to comfort him when he was a child, he knew that Brian would not allow the physical contact. He wouldn't allow himself to want or feel the love that everyone in this family had for him and even as a teenager, he'd been too afraid to let anyone close to him. So Vic did what he always did, ruffled his beautiful hair.

Brian listened as Vic went up the stairs. The clock now said 2 AM. Justin probably wouldn't be long. He had to talk to Justin. He didn't know what he was going to say, but he would figure it out when Justin came home. He threw his head back and decided to get in a nap. He'd hear Justin as soon as he came in the door.

 

=========================

 

The sunlight streaming through the window served as a natural alarm clock for the two men. As he lay on his left side facing the window, the sun beamed directly into Justin's face. Squinting and rubbing his eyes, he waited for his vision to adjust to the bright light.

Eric responded to the sun shining in his face by turning onto his back. He usually slept on his stomach and he now had a stiff left shoulder from sleeping on it during the night. God, he never slept on his side - what had possessed him to sleep in such an awkward position? As he turned, he realized how close to the left side of the bed he was, instead of the center where he usually slept. He rolled over to check the alarm clock to see whether he'd slept past his usual Saturday 9:30 AM wake- up, and saw why he was sleeping in such an odd way. He saw the beautiful blue eyes that had just opened. The small smile on his face. The golden spiky hair. It had to be the most beautiful thing that he had ever awakened to.

"Morning," Justin said, in a low and husky tone.

Smiling, Eric returned the greeting "Morning."

For a moment they stared at each other, each boy lost in thought.

"What time is it?" Eric asked, looking over Justin's shoulder to check the alarm clock. "8:29. Shit! It's fucking early." he said.

"I have to be at work by two o'clock" Justin said, taking in Eric's beautiful emerald eyes.

"I'll drive you back to your car." Eric was about to rise from the bed when he suddenly felt the touch of warm skin against his arm.

Justin lay there, rubbing his arm and shoulders, looking at him with a want and need that he hadn't seen before. He wanted Eric to know he understood what he was feeling. His constant caressing of the other man's upper arm was the sign to Eric. Justin did want him. He saw it in Justin's eyes, heard it in his breathing. He felt it in his touch.

Eric was ready to resist him. He didn't want to be Justin's consolation prize. He knew that the move he made here would forever change him, if not both of them. But when he looked into Justin's eyes and saw the wanton, hungry, lustful look, Eric knew that he'd reached his breakpoint. He rolled on top of Justin, pressing his hard cock against him. As they stared into each other's eyes, lips touching and mouths open, they were both panting heavily. There was no actual kiss, only the trading of each other's breath and the long and heavy gaze.

Justin saw the lust and want in Eric's eyes but was most stricken by the fear he saw. He could see that Eric was frightened by what was about to happen. Justin felt the man's cock straining against his briefs. He wanted Eric, but he wanted Eric to be sure about this. When their lips finally met, he found that Eric was as sure as he was going to get.

Eric's tongue slid deep into Justin's warm sweet mouth. Justin moaned as he felt Eric grinding against him. Eric's hands were everywhere; in Justin's hair, down his arms, rubbing his sides, caressing his face. With every touch, Eric's arousal increased. He never wanted to leave Justin's mouth. It was probably the best kiss he had ever experienced. Realizing that there was so much more to be discovered, he finally let his lips part from the beautiful swollen red ones before him. He stopped and just looked at Justin.

Justin was about to protest when he felt Eric rolling onto his back, pulling Justin on top of him. Justin felt the softness of Eric's hand on his back, and he loved it. He loved the feeling of the sexy rubdown that Eric placed on his flank before slipping his hands inside his briefs. He loved the feeling of Eric's soft hot hands on his ass. It seemed impossible, but he could feel Eric growing even harder than before. Justin could feel the pressure of Eric's hands on his ass moving him upwards, positioning his body above his face. Eric slid down so that Justin understood his intent. His first stop was Justin's nipple. He'd seen that nipple ring last night, and it made his mouth water. Now he had that very same succulent nipple in his mouth. He sucked and flicked and nibbled at the beautiful pink bud, feeling the soft flesh quickly become puckered, stiff and hot. The wanton nipple seemed to reach for the roof of Eric's mouth while the gold ring teased his tongue.

Justin could do nothing but absorb the sensation of the warm mouth assaulting him. The feel of Eric's strong hands squeezing at his waist was so excruciatingly erotic to Justin - he loved all the things that Eric was doing to him. He could feel Eric sliding further down his body as he made his way to Justin's torso, his hot tongue tracing at the fine hair on his belly. Just then he felt Eric removing his briefs.

As Justin kicked off his briefs, he heard Eric's loud sigh. Looking down, he saw that his cock was in front of Eric's face. The view increased his arousal ten fold. Then Eric's mouth engulfed him, and in that moment, Justin knew things had changed forever.

 

=========================

 

"Brian. Brian wake up." Debbie shook his shoulder. She had mastered entering her home quietly to avoid waking Vic. She was more than a little surprised to come in and find Brian sleeping on her couch at 4a.m. She got the major clue as to why Brian was sleeping on her couch when she went upstairs to check on Vic and found that Justin wasn't home.

And now it was 8:45 a.m. And he hadn't come home. Since he obviously wasn't with Brian, she began to worry.

"Wha?," he said as he realized where he was. He couldn't believe he'd spent the night on Deb's couch.

"Wake up Brian!" Deb gave him one final hard shake.

"What time is it?" he asked, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on the clock.

"It's 8:46."

"What! I slept here all night? Where's Justin?" he asked, shocked that he hadn't heard him come in. He really must have been tired.

"Yeah you slept here all night. And Justin's not home." Putting her hands on her hips, she eyed him knowingly. There had to be some sort of problem between the two of them, and she was sure she was looking at the cause.

"Well, where did he go? I waited here for him, obviously. When did he go out again?" he asked with a very annoyed look on his face. He figured that Justin would probably try to avoid him after last night. But he was sure he' d catch him at home.

"He never came home last night!" Debbie said, practically yelling at him.

Just then Debbie saw his jaw clench and his eyes widen. A wave of uneasiness spread over him. *He never came home* he thought, remembering how upset Justin had been when he left him at Babylon. He also remembered who he left with.

"What the fuck happened last night Brian? Why isn't Sunshine with you?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out Deb. He's been avoiding me." Glancing at the clock, he continued, "Maybe he went to the loft to wait for me and fell asleep. He's done it before" He stood and walked toward the door.

But it was very apparent to both of them that Justin wouldn't be at the loft.

Debbie watched him walk out the door, wanting so much to yell at Brian for whatever it was that he'd done and for him to "fix it". But she got the distinct feeling, "mother's intuition" as she called it, that Brian was already trying to do just that. Why else would Brian Kinney, Pittsburgh's Gay Fuck Machine, be sleeping on her couch on a hot Friday night?

"You're in for one hell of a ride, kiddo" she said to herself.

 

=========================

 

As he got off the elevator, Brian knew the loft was empty. He could feel it. Justin hadn't been here at all. When he slid the door open, he could feel the coldness that Justin always complained about. Placing his keys on the counter, he walked towards the bedroom, removing his clothes as he climbed the stairs. He'd said he would meet the guys for lunch at the diner, knowing that Justin would be working the 2:00 PM to 8:00 PM shift. Strange that he actually knew the kid's schedule. It was one of the things that had changed in his life. Knowing Justin's whereabouts had become a new habit for him. To ease his mind, he'd bought the kid a cell phone so he could stay in touch. Deb was relieved to know that Justin had the phone. She wasn't the only one.

Stepping out of his pants, he glanced at Justin's drawing of him. He loved looking at it. To know that Justin sat and studied him while he slept always made him feel incredibly sexy. The knowledge that someone had captured every actual inch of him on paper was an enormous aphrodisiac. He thought of Justin in that moment. He thought of his skin. His eyes. His ass. That beautiful cock of his. "Where the fuck is he?" he wondered as he walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

 

=========================

 

They rode in silence, trying not to acknowledge each other and what had happened between them. Eric's Neon now seemed quite small to both of them. In such close quarters, they couldn't avoid each other, but they weren't talking either. Neither of them knew what to say. Everyone knew how much he loved to talk, but for the first time in a long time, he had no words. Things had changed dramatically in the last few hours. What started out as an evening of fun and celebration had turned into something altogether different the following morning. And now Justin was scared. He feared his feelings and the choices he would have to make. This morning had changed him.

Eric tried to concentrate on the road. He wanted so much to talk to Justin, but what would he say? How could he tell Justin how much this morning had meant to him? That Justin's body pressed against him was the closest he had ever felt to anyone? How much the events of the morning would shape him?

"This is me." Justin broke the silence as they almost passed his car. Turning to look at Eric, he stared into his brilliant green eyes for a brief moment before saying "Thanks." With that, he got out of the car and walked to his own, started it and drove out of the parking lot. He would go home and shower, clean his room, do a load of laundry. Then he'd go to the diner. No one would wonder where he'd been. Deb and Vic would assume he was at Brian's. He'd have time to think about everything that had happened, what it all meant, and where it was all going.

 

=========================

 

Brian heard his phone ringing as he got out of the shower. Soaking wet, he padded out of the bathroom soaking wet, leaving a trail of footprints. Normally he would have let the machine pick up, but he didn't want to take a chance on missing Justin's call.

"Yeah?"

"Hey what's going on?" he heard the familiar tone of Michael's voice, and instantly felt disappointed. He wasn't in the mood for an inquisition.

"Nothing's going on. What's up?"

"Are you still meeting us for lunch at the diner?"

"Yeah I'll be there." he said, relieved that was all he asked. Hew knew that Mikey was itching to ask him about what had happened with Justin, but Mikey knew better than to try to discuss it over the phone.

"Cool. I'll see you at about 1:30. Later" Michael said before hanging up.

As the line went dead, Brian decided to check his caller id. He saw a series of numbers on the display panel but none of them were from Justin. Not from Deb's, nor from his cell. Justin hadn't even called him. He couldn't get the face of the kid, Eric, out of his head. He kept seeing the way he kissed Justin, the way he danced with him, and the way he looked at him. It wasn't like he didn't know that Justin did other guys. It was a freedom that they both enjoyed. But what he couldn't get out of his head was the way he left with Justin.

Eric had left with "HIS" Justin. He had watched the kid put his arm around an upset Justin. He'd watched them talk as they walked away from Babylon. It was a scene that played over and over in his mind as he waited at Deb's, and as he drove home. It was all he could think about.

No sense in thinking about it now. He knew that he would see Justin at the diner - he would talk to him there. The guys refused to be waited on by anyone other than Justin when they were at the diner, so Justin couldn't avoid him. Justin was the best waiter there. Plus the guys liked helping Justin with his tip money.

"You can't avoid me forever" Brian said to himself. Putting on his jeans, he mentally prepared himself for their encounter.

 

=========================

 

Justin arrived home at about 12:30, giving him plenty of time to shower and change before heading to work.

Opening the door, he saw Debbie standing in the middle of the living room with her hands on her hips. She was obviously not in a very good mood.

"Hey Deb. What's going on?" He said as he put his keys down.

"You tell me. Where were you last night?" she asked in her most annoyed tone.

Justin found it strange that Debbie would ask him where he slept on Friday night. She knew his Friday night routine: He went to Babylon, and afterwards he stayed at the loft with Brian.

"I was out with the guys" He regretted the lie as soon as it escaped his lips. But he wasn't quite ready to deal with a lecture from Debbie.

"Don't lie to me Justin"

"What?"

Debbie knew that something was up with Brian and Justin, and she knew that Justin wasn't ready to talk about it. But she would be damned if she wouldn't tear him a new ass for making her worry about him. The fact that he was out all night and "NOT" with Brian sent her into a worrying fit.

" 'What?' you ask. Correct me if I'm wrong, but last night was Friday night. And every fag within a 200-mile radius is out fucking and sucking everything they can get their hands on. So I wanna know WHY, when I come home at 4 o'clock in the morning, do I find the "ULTIMATE" sucker and fucker asleep on my fucking couch!? The same one I thought you spent every Friday night with?"

Knowing he was caught, he tried to defuse Deb's anger "Brian was here?"

Smirking, "All fucking night, waiting for you."

Justin couldn't help smiling. But instead of feeling smug, he felt like an asshole for keeping Brian waiting. Here he was trying to get Brian to just say that he wanted to be with him. But those words were always hard for Brian. Then he felt the tears.

"Sunshine, honey. What's going on with you two?" she said as she rubbed his right arm. "Brian says you've been avoiding him. Why?"

Why? It was so complicated. Yet it was so simple.

Sitting at the foot of the stairs, he wiped his tears on his sleeve. "Deb, I don't know what I'm doing. Just when I think I've got it figured out. "I just.. I just want Brian to try a little more. Ever since he told me he loved me, he's practically not there emotionally. It's weird, I felt more loved by him when I thought he'd never say it. Now he 's trying so hard to keep up his nonchalant attitude toward me, he seems even more closed off."

"Sunshine. He doesn't know what he's doing either. Brian's scared, honey. You and I both know his big bad monster side is just a front. It's how he has survived all these years. You make everything different for him. He reacts when he's confused."

"But Deb, what's so confusing? If he cares, why is it so hard to tell me?"

"Oh kid. If it were only that simple. It's not. Not with Brian. You're forgetting, he didn't grow up with the same family you did. He learned as a child that exposing your feelings was the best way to get hurt. That's why I didn't mind him here all the time. He knows that people don't always do what they say. You see the same thing everyday that he does. You hear people say 'I love you , You're the Only one for me, I want to be with you forever'. Then what do you hear from the same people? 'I hate you, I've found someone new' or 'I want a divorce' . Brian rarely says how he feels. He 's all about image. And from where I'm sitting, he has shown everyone that he loves you very much. The words may not come as often as you'd like Sunshine. But the actions are seen by everyone. Not to mention what we don't see when you're at the loft." she said with a sly grin on her face.

Justin couldn't control his blush. As much as he appreciated Debbie's raunchy sense of humor, he still wasn't comfortable talking about his sexual escapades with Brian.

"I gotta get ready for work." he said as he rose and started to climb the steps.

"Justin. One more thing. You are to let me know where you are when you are going to be out all night , if you are not with Brian. It will be between us. But I want to know your whereabouts. Got it?"

"Got it". He smiled at her and made his way to his room.

 

=========================

 

Brian walked into the diner and scanned the place. He saw Mikey, Emmett and Ted, along with the rest of the regular crowd.

Continuing to scan his menu, Ted was the first to speak. "Hey Brian. You look a little worse for wear. How many tricks did you get last night, 20?" Since Ted always ordered the same thing, it annoyed Brian that he even bothered to look at the menu.

"I thought the weekends were for the baby." Emmett looked down with a grin while sipping his coffee.

"Fuck off, both of you." Brian's tone signaled that he was not in the mood to be teased.

Mikey started talking about an endless array of comics that he bought on Ebay. He could tell that Brian wasn't paying much attention to him.

Ted and Emmett looked at each other. Ted figured that Brian must not have gotten laid last night. He didn't understand what his problem was - after all, he hadn't been laid in the last 18 nights.

On the other hand, Emmett knew the real reason for Brian's mood. He always could tell when Brian hadn't been with Justin. All the signs were there: He was short with everyone, and it obvious from the way he was watching the kitchen door that Brian was waiting to pounce the minute he saw Justin.

As Brian became increasingly annoyed by Michael's constant stream of chatter, he realized that maybe he shouldn't have come. He wasn't in the mood to be around anyone, and just as he was about to give Michael an excuse to leave, he saw Justin.

Justin had seen Brian come in. Even if he hadn't, he always felt his presence. He knew that the tension would be thick, but wasn't going to neglect his customers just to avoid Brian. He started to grab silverware for all of them when he felt someone close to him. He looked over his shoulder to see Brian's beautiful face.

"Hey" Justin returned to his task.

Brian could tell that Justin was avoiding eye contact with him. He wanted Justin to look at him. He had so much to say to him. But he was not about to cause a scene in the diner for all of Liberty avenue to see.

"What are you doing later?" Brian watched Justin grabbing napkins and placemats. Getting right to the point was the only way to handle Justin's avoidance tactic.

Justin suddenly stopped and turned to look at Brian. Brian obviously wanted to spend time with him. It was obvious in his eyes and in his actions. He did want him. He wanted his time, and his affection. He remembered what Debbie had told him that morning. All of this was new to both of them. And as hard as it was for Brian to verbalize his emotions, to say the words he wanted to hear, his eyes never lied.

"I didn't have anything planned."

"Will you come to the loft after your shift? We need to talk" Brian didn't want to appear to too desperate. He needed to focus on anything but Justin. His feelings were threatening to overwhelm him. He had missed Justin in the last eight days. But now he was craving Justin. His smell, his touch, his smile,. Standing next to Justin made him feel as if he were having withdrawal symptoms.

"Sure" He watched Brian try to ignore him. He smiled as he looked at his profile as Brian walked back to the table and sat down. Brian had made an effort. It was the best he could do, and he couldn't ask him for more. What Brian was giving was hard enough. Why should he make it harder for him?

Brian sat back down and waited for Justin to come to the table with their silverware. They would see each other later. He heard Emmett bickering with Ted about the idea of him working as a naked maid.

Just then Justin was bringing over the placemats and silverware to their table. He seemed to be in a better mood than when they last saw him.

"Hey baby." Emmett crooned, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Brian gave Emmett his usual glare whenever he showed too much interest in Justin. It was a private joke between the two of them. He never really had any desires on Justin, but he loved to push Brian's buttons. He loved to watch Brian struggle to keep his cool and not let the green-eyed monster reveal itself.

"Hey Em. I like your pants." Justin grimaced at the yellow pants with purple stripes going down the side.

"Oh honey thanks. Would you like a pair? I can get you a great discount at Torso." Emmett replied, sneaking a look at Brian.

Brian was definitely against the idea of Justin wearing anything from Torso. The little tight jerseys Justin wore were more than enough. Justin looked really hot to him in the jerseys. But they were so form- fitting that Brian practically had to pull guys away from Justin whenever they went out. As if his ass wasn't enough to attract every guy on Liberty Ave. The protrusion of the nipple ring, the tiny waist and the slight revelation of skin made the problem ten times worse.

Sitting next to Brian, Michael asked, "So are we going to go out to Woody's tonight?" Michael figured that they would be going out tonight since Brian hadn't been spending all his free time with Justin in the last week. He knew that they had been fighting, and even though he liked Justin he still had a hard time accepting Brian and Justin together in any way. It was much easier to see Justin as Brian's little fuck toy. But when Brian went to New York to get Justin when he ran away, he knew that the kid had worked his way under Brian's defenses Michael had been closer to Brian than anyone. at least until "He" came along.

"I don't think so. I have plans" Brian said very matter-of- factly, all the while giving Justin a small smile.

Returning the smile, Justin retrieved his order pad and pencil from his apron pocket. "Okay what'll it be?"

Michael watched the exchange between the two of them. He'd hoped that Brian wouldn't have much more to do with Justin after last night, but it looked like the old routine was back in place.

"I'll have my usual turkey sandwich." Brian said.

"Give me my tuna fish staple." Ted added.

"I'll have the grilled chicken salad, with light ranch." Emmett said, winking at Brian.

"Get me a turkey burger with onion rings." Michael ordered as he stared intently at Justin

"Okay, be right back with your drinks." Justin turned to give their order to the cook, and retrieved their usual drinks. As he grabbed four glasses from under the counter, he heard the diner door opening. As he looked up to greet the new customer he was shocked to see Eric standing in front of him. 

"Hi Justin." 

"Hi." Justin said with a backwards glance at Brian's table. 

"I don't mean to bother you at work, but I thought that we should talk." Eric tried not to stare too hard at Justin. 

"About what?" 

Eric shrugged his shoulders. He had a lot to say to Justin, but no idea where to start. He didn't want to have this conversation in the diner with Brian so close by. "About this morning." 

"Hold on" Justin went to give the guys their drinks. He saw the look that Brian was giving him. He was smiling at him. Returning the smile, he walked toward Eric and the door. 

Michael noticed Justin leaving. And he also noticed who he was leaving with. Before he could even think about it, he said "Isn't that the same guy from Babylon last night?" 

"Who?" Emmett asked. 

Michael nodded his head towards the door. "The one Justin's walking out with." 

Brian looked up and saw Justin walking out with the same kid he was dancing with last night. 

Emmett glared at Michael. He loved Michael, but hated his jealous interference with Brian and Justin. 

Brian never noticed the exchange. He was too busy trying to control the spasms he felt in his stomach. He watched them through the window as they talked. It wasn't a casual or intimate discussion. He couldn't put his finger on it. But it was definitely intense. 

Outside, Justin wasted no time getting to the point. "What's up?" 

"I'm sorry Justin. I know I shouldn't be here. But I can't stop thinking about what happened this morning. I keep replaying it in my head." He looked everywhere but at Justin. 

Justin sighed deeply. Eric looked like he wanted to say something more profound. 

"I don't know what to say Eric. Everything's just got more complicated than I anticipated. I never expected any of this to happen." 

"What did happen Justin? I mean I know you have something going on with that guy from last night. But what about this morning? Did you just use me to make him jealous?" Eric looked at Justin pleadingly. 

"No!" Justin couldn't believe that Eric felt used by him. "That's not what happened. I just...It just felt good to be relaxed for a moment. There was no pressure and no expectations from you. And it felt good to know that you wanted me. People are always expecting things from me. I felt calm laying there with you. I'm sorry if you feel used. But please know that wasn't my intention." 

"It's just that, I felt something between us, and I wanted to know if it's just on part. I'm well aware of the situation Justin. I just have to know what's going on. I don't want to assume anything" Eric finally looked at Justin. 

Eric wanted answers. He wanted to know where he stood. 

"It wasn't just you. I felt the same way when I saw you this morning. It was wonderful being with you. If things were different, maybe ...who knows? It would be so easy to be with you. You're my age, we have the same interests. It's practically a blueprint" he said with a smile. "But the fact is, as easy as I would like things to be, I love Brian." 

Looking away, Justin thought about what he'd gone through to get Brian's attention. At that moment, it was clear: he'd started this with by chasing Brian. Now he had to finish it, to see it through. After traveling so far down such a rough road, now was not the time to take the easy way out. Every experience on this journey would make a difference in all the future journeys. 

"I understand." Eric said very quietly. He smiled at Justin, turned and walked away. He knew that Justin had picked Brian but he'd always known he would. And that's what scared Eric the most. He loved the fact that Justin was fiercely loyal. He'd wanted that loyalty for himself but he'd also known that if Justin dropped Brian to be with him, his whole attitude about him would change. It was best that he walk away now. 

As he watched Eric leave, the pang of guilt had finally hit him. Although he had never intended to, he had hurt someone else. He watched Eric walk to the end of the block before he turned to go back into the diner. It occurred to him that while he'd still see Eric at school, this would probably be the last time they ever spoke. 

Upon entering the diner, he came face to face with Brian. 

 

=========================

 

Michael , Emmett and Ted all saw the way Brian silently slipped out of the booth to make his way to the front of the diner. But none of them would dare call him on it. Justin was a very sensitive subject where Brian was concerned. They all knew not to antagonize him too much when it came to Justin. 

Michael was observing his friend. He knew that Brian was still pissed about the whole situation at Babylon last night. The fact that Justin left with the guy was enough to make Brian leave Babylon. Brian once told him "Never go after anybody". Yet Brian was doing exactly the opposite. Running after Justin. 

It was practically silent in the diner as Justin reentered. Everyone in the place knew that Brian Kinney had a soft spot for the kid. Brian turned his body on the stool to face Justin. Justin was obviously upset. Justin saw Brian as soon as he looked up. Brian's eyes spoke of anger and pain. Justin had seen that look before. 

Just as Justin was about to speak, Brian got up off the stool and walked toward him. Brian solemnly said in a very low and hushed tone "Never mind tonight". With those simple words he walked out of the diner. Justin called his name, but didn't go after him. He let him go. When Brian was in this mood, it was useless to go after him. 

The guys saw the entire scenario play out in front of them. Emmett was especially pissed about the whole situation. But this time his anger wasn't toward Brian, it was toward Michael. He knew that Michael was jealous of Justin's relationship with Brian. Michael was always doing little things to upset Brian, or saying things to Justin to make him think that Brian didn't care about him. Michael never thought before he spoke. And now he had caused a serious problem. 

"I guess Boy-Wonder likes to have his own playthings on the side now." said Ted. 

"Well, Brian talks a good talk, but he is very territorial when it comes to his property. And he considers Justin his property." Michael said. 

That just did it for Emmett. Here was Michael telling them that he knew how Brian regarded Justin. How territorial he was. In essence, how jealous Brian was at the idea of anyone else with Justin. Yet he made it a point to make sure that Brian noticed the two young men and the fact that Justin went outside to talk to him. 

"You know Michael, it's amazing how well you know your friend, and yet you still manage to say things cause him stress." Emmett said as he scooted out of the seat in the booth. 

"What are you talking about"? 

"I'm talking about the fact that Brian and Justin were doing fine this morning, and then you had to go and open your mouth. Now both of them are obviously upset, and it could have been avoided if you just minded your own business for once." Emmett said as he walked toward Justin, who still standing at the front of the diner, dumbstruck. Only 5 minutes earlier he had plans to see Brian. Now those plans had been crushed. How was he supposed to know that Eric would come by the diner? How could Brian notice from the back of the diner? 

"Hey baby. You alright?" Emmett asked as he threw an arm around the blond boy. He received a softly-spoken "No" in response. 

Propping himself on a stool, Emmett prompted, "Well you sit and tell your Auntie Em all about it." 

"Not much to tell." Justin wiped his hands on his apron. He knew that Em was only trying to cheer him up. But he also didn't want to say too much about what was going on between him and Brian. 

Emmett could tell that Justin wanted someone to talk to, but he also understood his need for privacy on the subject of Brian. 

"I understand baby. You know I would ask you to go with me to Babylon tonight, but I remember Bri saying that he had plans." 

"Well it seems there's been a change in plans." 

"A proper gentleman always honors his commitments. Whatever you had planned with Brian, you follow through." 

"What do you think I should do? Just show up at the loft unannounced?" 

"Like it would be the first time it's ever happened." Em said with a small chuckle. Then he slid off the stool and went back to the booth with Ted and Michael. 

Justin couldn't help smiling. Emmett always had a way of making him feel better. Emmett was right. He would keep his plans. But first he would finish his shift. 

 

=========================

 

The walls were vibrating. The music was pumping. The bodies were pulsating and sweating. Babylon was already on fire, and it was only 9:30. There was something in the air, throbbing to the beat of the music. It was felt by every man who walked through the doors of the club. Tonight was the night. This was a Saturday night that no one would soon forget. 

Michael found a nice sexy hottie to keep him company. Emmett had two guys who were obviously looking for a nice third to play with and Em's spirits were in high gear. Even Ted had found a nice cute twink who was interested in him. The air of the club was thick with sexual tension. It was as if some sort of supernatural pheromone had been released into the atmosphere of the club, giving everyone an opportunity to score, find a friend, or fall in love. 

But Brian wasn't looking for any of those things. He was looking to forget the day. Forget what he was feeling. He wanted to fuck and suck his way into oblivion. He wanted to forget about Justin. And it seemed that the hunky brunette named Daniel, or David or whatever the fuck his name was, would do the trick, so to speak, tonight. 

"Let's go" Brian said in the guy's ear. 

They proceeded to work their way through the crowd and out of the club. When they reached the street, Brian headed straight for the jeep. Daniel or David or whatever the fuck his name was parked only a few cars away. To Brian's relief, he wouldn't have to worry about some whining trick asking for a lift home - he really didn't like tricks in his jeep. 

As he drove towards the loft, his mind wandered to what had happened at the diner this afternoon. Seeing Justin when he first walked in. Making plans to get together with him tonight. His excitement about the prospect of being alone with Justin. Then the wrenching feeling in his gut when Mikey mentioned the guy Justin was with last night. To top it all off, the way Justin had slipped out of the diner side to talk to Eric. It was obvious that something more than a casual fuck had occurred between them. He could see it in the intensity of their manners. He could also see it in Justin's eyes when he came back into the diner. 

As he pulled up in front of the loft, he wondered when the hell the week had gotten so twisted. He knew that Justin was busy with school, but he also knew that Justin always wanted to be with him on the weekends. He'd begun to look forward to their weekends together. They had fun at the clubs and bars. 

Sex with Justin was incomparable. He could feel Justin's presence in the loft all the time, even when he wasn't there. 

"Shit" he said as he opened the door and hopped out of the jeep. The slow-driving trick parked behind him. 

Brian felt the guy breathing on his neck as the elevator ascended to the 6th floor. He normally hated when guys made the first move but he really didn't want to think tonight. The guy's lips felt soft on his neck, his lips and breath hot against his skin. The moisture from his tongue cooled as soon as he pulled his lips away. Brian immediately went to work on the trick's mouth, fighting for control of the kiss. The guy obviously wanted slow mellow kisses while Brian wanted hard deep kissing . 

Feeling the elevator stop, Brian pushed the trick away to lift the gate. The trick stared at him with an eagerness that told Brian that he was well aware of what awaited him in the lair of Brian Kinney. 

No sooner than the two men stepped into the loft and Brian shut the door was the trick immediately on his knees, his hands working at Brian's fly. He had known Brian's reputation, and was more than anxious to have his own story to tell. 

"Hey, hey, hey.. Get up. Not so fast." Brian grabbed the guy beneath the arms and lifted him from the floor. "We've got a few hours. No hurry". 

The answering smile let Brian know that the man was ready for just about anything. So was Brian. It was time to forget his week. To forget about Ryder's yelling, and Michael's whining. Most of all it was time to put Justin out of his thoughts 

 

=========================

 

Justin heard the loft door open. It was now 1:30 in the morning and he'd been waiting at the loft for Brian since 9. He'd dozed fitfully for about two hours before he heard the door open. While he'd known that Brian would come home eventually, Justin hadn't anticipated Brian coming home with a trick. He listened to the two men as they entered the loft, realizing how awkward the coming moments would be. He hadn't allowed Brian's earlier anger and brush-off at the diner to deter him from showing up unannounced. Justin knew that it was time to confront Brian, but he couldn't help feeling that he had been a little pre-mature in removing his clothes and climbing into Brian's bed to wait for him 

As they stumbled up the stairs to the bedroom, Brian removed the trick's t-shirt. He wanted the guy naked. He wanted the feeling that only a nameless trick could provide. The sweet fall off reality's cliff, the mindless oblivion of thrusts, grunts and moans. He didn't want to talk, he only wanted to feel. Losing himself into the feelings of the man's lips on his neck, Brian heard the guy say: 

"Ooohh, I love a threesome." 

"It would be a perfect world if there were two of me" Brian responded. Why would this trick say such a stupid thing? 

"Yeah, that'd be nice. But he'll do just fine" the man motioned over Brian's shoulder. 

Brian turned towards his bed. And there he was. 

His boy. His Sunshine. His Justin. Wearing nothing except a pair of grey boxer briefs, leaning against the headboard, propped up on the pillows. His beautiful, pale body a sharp contrast to the midnight color of the duvet. It took every bit of Brian's resolve not to jump on the bed and place kisses all over him. He wanted so much to touch Justin. But he didn't want to appear that fucking pathetic. 

They stared at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Justin's heart caught in his throat at the sight of Brian. He was dressed to fuck, wearing the tight black pants -- the ones Justin loved peeling from his body -- with the black button-front shirt that clung to his chest and skimmed over the long line of his torso. 

For the first time all evening, Brian's cock started to throb, making him realize that he hadn't been aroused by the trick. The guy turned him on enough, but it was nothing compared to the effect that Justin's mere presence was having on him. His heart raced, pumping blood so fast and hard that he could feel the hammering in his ears. His body heated, his mouth watering at the sight of the luscious boy waiting on his bed. 

Both men were completely oblivious to the trick until he moved. As he leaned on the platform to crawl up the bed, Brian grabbed him by the waistband of his jeans. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" There was no mistaking the displeasure in Brian's eyes 

Staring hungrily at Justin, the trick responded, "Isn't the twink a part of the festivities?" 

"Get Out!" 

"What?!" 

"I said GET OUT!" 

The trick started to respond, but thought better of it when he saw the hardened look on Brian's face. Walking down the stairs to retrieve his shirt, he looked back at Brian who was following him to the door. 

"Fucking asshole" 

"Whatever. Get out." Brian slammed the sliding door shut. He set the alarm and walked back to the bedroom. 

Alone now, Justin felt fearful as he watched Brian approach the bed. Afraid of the discussion they were about to have. He wanted to get some things off his chest, and was determined to tell Brian what he wanted from their current "arrangement" before agreeing to anything. If he wanted to be happy, if he wanted his needs known, he had to speak up. Now. 

Surprisingly, Brian spoke first, asking "Why are you here?" as he removed his shirt. 

"We had plans." 

"I said 'never mind'" Off came his pants. 

Justin watched as Brian continued to strip, unsure of Brian's intentions. Was Brian going to throw him out now or would they fuck first, with Brian throwing him out afterwards? 

"Do you want me to leave?" 

There it was. Unavoidable. Brian could either keep up his façade of indifference or he could risk revealing himself to the one person who could hurt him more than any other. 

"Don't you have a new playmate now?" Off came the socks. 

Typical Brian-style dodge, to avoid answering the question by asking another question. 

Forcing the issue, Justin replied "If you want me to leave, just tell me." Brian had to either ask him to stay, or tell him to leave. 

"I wanna know why the fuck you've been avoiding me." Brian finally let out in a huff. 

"I wasn't avoiding you. I wanted to see you. But I'm sick of chasing you Brian, and I'm tired of asking for permission to be with you. You never ask me to come over. You never say you want to see me. I feel as if you could care less if I was around. I know you care about me, but why is it so hard for you to just show it?" 

"Is that all?" Finally naked, Brian stood at the foot of the bed. 

"What do you mean 'is that all'?" I guess allowing myself to be treated like nothing for the sake of your reputation wasn't enough? I thought I was letting you be yourself, and feeding into your ego Bri. But I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much. I know you'll never be monogamous, and that you'll always trick. But do you have to treat me like dirt in the process?" 

"I don't treat you like that Justin." Brian heard his own voice crack. 

"That day at Deb's, you said you loved me. I know how hard it was for you to say that and I'm not asking you to say it now. But I won't let you treat me like this. Stop pushing me away." 

"It's kind of hard to stop pushing when you pull other people in Justin." 

It was inevitable that Brian mention Eric. Since Justin didn't really understand it himself, there was no way he could explain it to Brian. 

"Right now, we're the only ones here, Brian. Just the two of us." 

Recalling the intensity of Justin's conversation with Eric, Brian asked, "You sure about that?" He'd seen enough to realize that the situation was deeper than a one-night stand. 

Totally frustrated, Justin started to leave the bed. "I'll just go now. I never should have come here in the first place." 

Brian silently responded the way he knew best. He crawled up the middle of the bed towards Justin, his cock growing heavier the closer he got. His entire body was flushed with the lust that crawled through his blood. Once they were face to face, Brian rubbed his hardening dick against Justin's fabric-covered hard-on, the urgent press of his body answering Justin's earlier question. 

"Aaaaahhh. . . ," Justin let the deep moan escape as he felt Brian's fingers in the waistband of his briefs. Brian rolled over, pulling the shorts out of his way. When the boy was completely nude, it was Brian's turn to moan as he pushed their hard leaking dicks together and started to rotate his hips. 

Brian muttered, "Ohh ..Justin.." as their lips came together in a kiss so deep, it threatened to consume the both of them. 

Grasping his nape with his long fingers, Brian pushed his hot tongue deep into the recess of Justin's mouth. Justin's hands and fingers were urgently pulling at the flesh of Brian's back. 

Brian's hands tracked downward, slowly moving over Justin's neck, his shoulders, his sides, his back. Savoring the feel of the soft, hot flesh. Before reaching Justin's ass, Brian paused, anticipating the feel of those beautiful globes in the palms of his hands. Overwhelmed by the feeling of Justin's heavy, hard cock against him, he started kneading Justin's ass. 

"Briiian" Justin pleaded against his mouth, receiving a tortured groan in response. "I can't wait anymore. I've missed you too much. Please...now." 

Justin wasn't the only one feeling anxious. Brian quickly rolled on top of the boy and started trailing kisses down his chest, his tongue caressing the hardening nipples and flirting with his nipple ring. The cologne Justin was wearing, the feverish heat of his flesh, the sounds of his urgent sighs and whimpers were making Brian frantic. He continued kissing a path down Justin's torso, keeping his hands on Justin's pecs, tormenting his nipples, teasing him by kissing his hips, but refusing to touch his cock. 

"Uuhhnnn...Ohhh...God...Brian...please.your mouth....please.suck me." Justin lifted his head to watch all the exquisite tortures Brian inflicted. It was hard to watch Brian and feel what he was doing at the same time, and Justin felt his control slipping. 

"I love it when you tell me what you want. Tell me again." 

"Ohhh suck my cock Brian." 

"What's the magic word?" He grinned as he softly stroked the boy's achingly hard dick. 

"NOW!". 

"My pleasure." 

Brian swallowed his beautiful pink prick in one swoop. His nose pressing into his pubes, he inhaled Justin's musky scent. As he worked his mouth up, down, and around his shaft, Justin was squirming, trying to force more of his dick into Brian's hot mouth, pumping his hips in rhythm with Brian's sucking. Brian could tell by Justin's movements and cries that he was close. Oh so close. But for both their sakes, this would have to last. Releasing the pulsing cock, he slowly trailed his tongue down to his hot full sac. As he sucked and kissed each of his balls, Justin's resolve was all but lost. He clutched at the duvet frantically, trying to hold on to what was left of his control. He felt Brian lift his legs, pushing them back to expose his hole Just when he thought Brian would finally take mercy and fuck him, Justin felt a hot wet tongue press into his quivering hole. 

With his tongue deep inside the boy's ass, Brian pressed as deep and as close as he could. The combination of hearing Justin's screams and smelling his sexy sweet scent were making his unbearably stiff cock leak. He'd missed this part of Justin so much. He missed being able to get lost, if only for a moment, in his body. To hear him scream his name, to hear his moans of pleasure, to be able to lick him in his most intimate place and feel his hot pucker tightening around his tongue, grabbing and pulling, demanding more contact. Brian pulled away from the boy's ass; the need to be inside of him finally taking control. 

"Fuck... you taste fantastic." Brian panted as he moved between Justin's legs. As their lips met, Brian could feel the pull in his dick as it strained against Justin's belly. He rolled over to grab the ever-present condom and lube from the nightstand. He quickly rolled on the trojan, using his finger to massage Justin's already wet hole. It was so erotic to watch Justin fuck himself on Brian's finger, his hole practically crushing Brian's knuckles, fighting for a deeper and harder probing. 

As he lifted Justin's legs to his shoulders, Brian asked, "You want more?" 

"Ohhh..God Brian...Yes! I need you inside me... NOW! Oh Please now." Justin panted. 

With that last plea still lingering in the air, Brian slowly pressed into his tight, hot hole, letting Justin feel every ridge on his lube-slicked dick. He began to move, peppering the boy's legs with soft kisses, the touch of his soft, warm, wet tongue sending shivers up Justin's thighs as Brian continued to ride him. Their body temperatures increased with every thrust, covering them in a light sheen of sweat. Brian's strangled grunts and moans resonated through the loft. Justin was lost in the sensations coursing through his body when he heard Brian's voice. 

"Ohhh fuck, turn over." he groaned as he pulled out of him. Justin complied quickly, missing Brian's cock already, and eager for its return. 

Justin grabbed a pillow and placed it under his hips, adjusting his leaking dick against the soft cotton to increase the friction from Brian's thrusts. He could feel the head of Brian's cock right at his throbbing hole, teasing him. Placing a hand on his flank, Brian continued his torture, swirling the wet tip of his cock around Justin's ass crack, brushing slick pre-cum around his hole. It was a torture so exquisite, Justin wasn't sure whether he wanted him to stop. But Brian made the decision for him, quickly moving to smoothly plunge his dickhead into his ass, lodging against his prostate, pressing the sweet spot, making the pleasure so intense that Justin had to use a pillow to muffle his screams. 

"Ohhh, fuck yeah baby....tell me it feels good." Brian hissed as he hammered his hips against Justin's ass. His hands gripped the boy's hips tightly, holding him immobile as continued to fuck him relentlessly. 

"Ahhhhhh. Yes..YES..YES.. you ...do...uhhnnn Brian...please...Fuck me...harder. Oh fuck.. Oh fuck..." . 

Justin's words and moans of pleasure sent Brian into a frenzy. He wanted to be as far into the boy as he possibly could and while he usually loved taking Justin from behind, something was missing. He needed more. He needed to move. He wanted to see Justin's face. He needed to see Justin's face. Somehow, he managed to turn Justin onto his back while maintaining the tempo of his thrusts, biceps straining taut as he held his luscious ass in mid-air. The change in position forced Justin's shoulders deep into the sweat-soaked sheets. When Brian heard Justin let out a deep throaty moan, he knew that this was the way to ecstasy. 

"Ohhh yeah... ohhh Justin... Baby... Oh fuck ... you feel so fucking good." Brian said as he pumped and rotated his hips against Justin's ass, grinding his pelvis against the silky white globes. 

"Ohhh... shit.. Bri..huuuh..ooohhh.. that's so... fucking ...hot... keep doing that...stay right there." Justin hadn't believed that Brian could go any deeper. God, he loved being wrong 

"Yeeah...Yeaah Justin...you love it...don't you? Is it good to you baby..?" 

"Aww God... Brriiiaann," he screamed as the combination of Brian's words, their time apart, and his long, hard dick buried in his ass took over and his load erupted against his belly. His orgasm caused his hot hole to clamp down hard, in turn triggering Brian's orgasm, first making him shudder, then making him growl, finally making him light-headed as the sensation raced through his body. 

Afterwards as they lay in bed panting, trying to catch their breath, they held each other. Covered in sweat, saliva and cum the need to be in each others arms was more immediate than the need to clean up. Their legs entangled and their cooling bodies pressing together, they looked at each other for a long and silent moment. No words were needed. They knew what they felt. 

Justin thought of everything that had happened between them. It didn't take him long to realize that the only thing that mattered was what was happening with them now. He knew that Brian cared for him, even if he didn't use the usual words or sentiments to express his feelings. His pursuit of Brian never had those sappy moments that you read in books or see in the movies He'd had better moments, with words unspoken that no book, movie or television show would ever have. But Brian preferred to let his actions speak for him. He had the lover who refused to go to his prom, but showed up to give him the most wonderful moment of his life. He had the man who wanted him out of his home, but took him in when he saw that taking him back to his parents was not the best thing for him. A flawed man full of contradictions. He would have to learn to appreciate his efforts. After all, it was Brian's efforts that were important and what made him so special. 

Brian looked at Justin, lost in his own reflections of what had happened between them. Of what Justin wanted, of what he wanted. He thought of how Justin did everything he could to make what they had a little easier to deal with. All the boy ever wanted from him was a little love and acknowledgement. What was so hard about saying he loved him? Because the fact of the matter was, he did. He loved this boy. This boy who was so ridiculous to ask him to his prom, and looked so hurt when he refused, who looked so happy when he showed up. This boy who left the comforts of his parent's home and risked his secure future to take this journey with him, knowing that the journey would not be easy. Brian had to give him credit. While Justin was a kid at heart, in age, and in spirit, his strength was what drew them together. Justin would do what was right for Justin. And he'd decided that being in Brian's life was right for him. If Brian was honest with himself, it was what he wanted as well. He wanted this boy, no - this man, in his life. 

Looking into each others eyes after the long period of silence, they kissed. Sealing their fates, so to speak. The kiss being a promise by each of them to try a little harder for the other person. The kiss reaffirmed every word spoken and unspoken. 

A reaffirmation from both sides.


End file.
